I Don’t Have The Gift of Hospitality, But You Can Come Over Anyway

Categories friends
hostess, open your home, hospitality
Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash

I’m a total extrovert! I love spending time with my friends and family, but I’m not a natural hostess. I love the idea of having people over, but honestly, a lot of times I feel like I’m doing a crappy job. I can’t get out of my head. I have this constant stream of worries running through my brain like, “Is my house clean enough? Am I filling up drinks enough? Oh crap, I should have asked about food allergies! Are people having a good time? Am I talking too much?” All that, plus, I’m really not a great cook! All great reasons not to have people over, right?

But I invite people over anyway.

Here’s why:

Guests Don’t Care That I’m Not A Gourmet Chef or A Professional Party Planner

For the most part, when friends get together, they are just looking for a place to spend time together. The food, drinks, and decor can add to the enjoyment of the event, but that’s not the main reason friends and family want to get together. So, if my place can physically be the place where people gather, why shouldn’t it be?

To Give Other Hostesses a Break

One of the things I truly enjoy in life is for other people to wait on me. I know, it sounds selfish, but hear me out. As a mom who works part-time from home, I take on the lion share of the household duties including meals. Meaning, I make all the meals and clean up (with some help from the family) after all the meals. Because of this, it is such a treat for me to have someone cook for me. When someone makes me a meal, I feel completely covered in love!

So, when I host another family, I try to get out of my head, stop worrying about my lack of cooking skills and try to focus on making an enjoyable evening for my guests – to think about how much they might need a break from cooking and cleaning – to cover them in love. This really changes my mindset. It gets me out of my head, helps me focus less on my insecurities and more on my guests.  

hospitality, being a hostess, how to be a hostess, invite people over, open your home

Others Might Be Nervous To Host Too

I am acutely aware that I am not the only one apprehensive about having company over. I’ve been to plenty of gatherings where the hostess apologizes for their house being messy, or about the food they are serving, or the time it takes to serve it. But here’s the thing – I never care about any of those things! I’m just happy to be hanging out with friends and eating food that someone else prepared for me. Even though they might be stressing a little, they still invite me over, so I’m sure I can do the same.

The More You Do It, The More Comfortable You Become

Over time, I’ve definitely gotten better at hosting – or at least I worry less about how it’s going. I’ve found through the years what works for me as a hostess. Turns out, I’m a pretty laid back hostess. I’m a “meatballs are in the crockpot, drinks are in the cooler, help yourself” type of gal.  I’m never going to be a Pinterest perfect dinner party hostess, but I don’t sweat it anymore. That’s just not my style and that’s ok. I don’t let that hold me back from having company over.

Trial and error is the best way to learn when it comes to hospitality. Invite people over. Straighten up. Pick a menu. Try it out. See what works for you and what doesn’t work. You’ll discover recipes that are easy to make and delicious. You’ll become more comfortable having people in your home. But what I truly hope you discover is that your friends and family really just want to spend time with you and are happy to be in your company.

How about you, friend? Do you have the gift of hospitality or do you struggle like me?

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